Faith

it's been a very long time since i've felt so genuinely disappointed about something and today i felt this dreaded feeling once again. it was pretty bad i guess, to the extend that i didn't really feel like going for the team dinner (sorry guys) and stayed in hall to help out with the orientation instead.

i asked myself why i was feeling so disappointed: was it the fact that i expected too much of my teammates that when they under perform, i'll feel that it's not enough? or the fact that i have too much faith in them and when we don't do well, i feel like we're selling ourselves short in the game?

came to a conclusion that it's more of the latter and when i look back, i realize how people react to my so called "faith" in them. some people think of it as a joke and smirk when i become too serious when im explaining things during training. a few think that the "faith" that i put in them is too much to take, in turn told me that they think that not good enough and want to go to the second team instead.

im sure there will people think that im being emo and all because i didn't go for the dinner, frankly, i really don't care because this is how much this team means to me, so much that it's one of the main priorities in my life and it gets frustrating for me sometimes.

maybe im just tired, maybe i should try having people telling me what to do instead then maybe they'll know what im talking about.

i just hope that something like today won't happen again because i really hate feeling like this, makes me feel like an asswipe.

Of Studies and Time

was talking to 2 of the guys after training today and they asked me how many years i have left to go in NUS. told them that i had 2 more years to go and they said that it was a very long time and i agreed.

then one of them went on to say that he didn't regret not studying hard enough to get into NUS because the degree he got from SIM is giving the same salary as a colleague who graduated from NUS. the other went on and said that he chose not to go to NUS so that he could save time and not study for 4 years, when i was the one who helped with all the applications for NUS a few years back. im sure he would be saying otherwise if he got the acceptance letter back then.

it's funny how they were frantically applying to get into NUS last time.

i'm not angered by all this talk, it's just weird that people can just write off something that other people worked hard for simply with their own perception of how things are, failing to look at things in another person's shoes.

but then again, everyone's entitled to their own views i guess...

Glamor Kills

yet another poster design. im amazed at how i managed to churn this out last night despite having had very little sleep and a wretched headache after i went drinking until 6am the previous night.

i think i design best under little rest and undesirable physical conditions. maybe i should consider some activities before i do any design work. hmmm... haha.

C&Cs are welcomed for the posters! :)

Audition

i've been performed at numerous events infront of different sizes of crowds and i've never had a problem performing, at least i've never screwed up at any of my performances before.

just went for an audition at a music cafe just now and it's the first time that i actually screwed up during a performance. i guess the pressure of people scrutinizing you when you're performing is different from when people are just there to watch and enjoy themselves. i hope this will only haunt me for a few days. hopefully i'll still get through the first round of auditions since i only screwed up the last few lines. hope weiliat and cherylene meant it when they said that i did well except for the last part. *in self-comforting tone*

if i get through. i'll be ready. roar!

The Dark Knight

before i say anything, everybody, if you haven't seen the dark knight as you're reading this, you're highly advised to find your friends and watch that show as soon as possible.

i must say that this show is simply amazing, from the art direction, visual effects to the pace of the movie. gotham city was created to what i thought it would be -- dark and sinister looking, even in the day. it's been a while since i've been to a movie that is paced so well that i didn't even feel a bit restless during the whole movie (and the fact that i actually refused to go to the toilet when i needed to shows it too). christopher nolan has definitely done a good job in setting the mood and the pace of this movie.

an important mention of this movie would be the joker (heath ledger). his performance in the dark knight is simply oscar-worthy. heath ledger really brought out the psychotic and demented side of the joker and you can actually feel it as you're watching the movie. he had simply immortalized (heath ledger died shortly after shooting the movie because of a drug overdoes) the role of the joker and there can never be another batman movie with the joker in it. but whoever is brave enough to try to fill the role that heath ledger had left, better be prepared to take stick for anything that's less than perfect.

overall, i would rate this amazing show 5/5 and i urge each and everyone of you to watch this show, you won't regret it.

Random Update

finally got around my laziness to post something.

work has been mysteriously tiring, im not doing anything physical in camp, i just send tons of emails, make calls to arrange for meetings and actually going for the meetings. at the end of the day, i'll just reach home drained and just sitting infront of the computer screen, doing nothing, like what i was doing before i got myself to login and post this.

im still trying (i think..) to find out what is making me so tired, i don't remember being like this the last time round. maybe i haven't recovered physically from the sem, i still feel very weak and unfit but i always end up just whining over the fact that im unfit, like now. i seriously need to get a regime going soon, at least before school starts, so that i can follow it through when im back in school.

body's not exactly being kind to me, or rather, im not being kind to my body by not taking care of it, at least for ultimate wise. my knee feels busted, my back feels strained from my recurring slipped discs injuries. im on a low and a high at the same time, how messed up is that eh? im on a low because i can't play as hard as i want to, but at the same time, for some weird reasons, i somehow manage to get my throws back. yes, it's kinda like an ultimate dilemma, to stop or to keep on going when my throws are back.

lots of designing and brainstorming to do lately, just done with a cd cover and now i have to brainstorm for designs for TH DnD's poster and website, i hope eric has something already cos im pretty much having my face in the designer block. it's hell of a pain in the ass, but i guess i have to try to get around it.

here's the cd cover anyway, comments are welcomed:



of movies lately, wanted is good because angelina jolie is just sizzling HOT inside. hancock is pretty funny, think of a black superman, drunk. oh, and zohan is just hilarious, if you haven't watched it by now, wait for the dvd.

my camera is feeling lonely in my dry box and i really need to bring it out for a walk to take beautiful sights (esp beautiful people), so whoever's interested in taking photos with me or being taken by me, please ask me out. pretty good way of getting people to ask me out eh? hah. ok, that was totally random.

wait, isn't that suppose to be the point. being random. now, that was pretty random wasn't it?

ps: it never really did occur to me until recently but im reaching a quarter century in less than 6 months' time. so my friend was right, the older you get, there will be more things that will bother/scare you. and for me, somehow, age is bothering me a little, really, just a little.

远走高飞

yes, i am at it again. i can't help it, i need to entertain myself. haha.

Expensive Week & New Section

after the 9th, i felt very empowered by my bank account and to quote a line from spiderman "With great power, comes great responsibility". apparently, this applies to financial power as well and it's pretty obvious that i had failed to exercise responsibility by spending more than half a grand in a week.

sometimes i think that computer fairs are run by the devil and in my case, it's the PC Show. i bought a printer, razer mouse pad and a apple wireless keyboard. and if that's not enough, i bought a second hand lens (24 - 70mm, f2.8) for my camera which put me off around $300.

it's quite a bit, now that i look at my bank balance. time to practice restrain. hah.

anyway, there's a new photos section up on the blog, it's above the chatterbox and clicking it will open up a new window. more photos will be added soon, so stay tune!

The Happening..

.. is totally not happening. infact, i think M. Night Shyamalan just successfully ruined Mark Wahlberg's career with this movie. there are no saving graces in the show at all, and i really do mean AT ALL.

stay away from this film at all cost.. don't say i didn't warn you.. hah.

V For..

two things.. vietnam and vices. that's what we did over the weekend. it was a weekend of vices in vietnam. gambling, drinking, smoking, clubbing, eating and clubbing (ok, maybe the last 2 aren't vices). that was officially my craziest weekend overseas. to top it all of, tim's dad was extremely generous and took real good care of us. you might ask how? read on...

took an insanely early flight at 7.30am, which meant that all of us slept over at gabriel's place and reached the airport at 5.30am to check. when we reached Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC), the first thing we saw was tim's dad and 2 drivers waiting for us. on the trip into the city center, tim's dad told us that the 2 drivers were for us and we could get them to bring us all over the city. i was damn shocked by that and i had a feeling that this trip was going to be smashing.

had pho (read: fer) for breakfast and just when we thought breakfast was good, we had no idea that it was just the start of a trail of good food coming our way. we went to a place called Nam Bo for lunch and we were treated with exotic food... less talk, more pictures..

(from top left, clockwise: toad, dove, some small bird, fish in a wrap)

what made it even better was that, for the whole meal, no soft drink or water was consumed. all we drank was beer, beer and more beer!! talk about a good life! beer, good food and free smokes. did i mention that tim's dad arranged us in a 5-star hotel for free and brought us into the hotel's casino where we could get free beer and smokes. haha!

went over to the famous notra dame cathedral and post office after that. i must say that it's quite a sight.

(Left: Notre Dame Cathedral | Right: Post Office)

the interiors of the cathedral was beautiful too..

after that was dinner at another hotel for a decent with an obscene spread, which we almost died eating from because the food was so good. after dark activities involved club hopping over 3 clubs, lots of drinks, lots of smokes and very little sleep.

and speaking of which i'll stop at day 1 for the time being, because im still recovering from a lack of sleep since i came back. work's a bitch, will update again!

to view the photos you can go to my flickr photostream or facebook (feel free to add me) albums:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/egomy
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55514&id=554725861 --> Day 1

Weekend

had a very fun and interesting weekend, so much that im still pretty exhausted from it even though it's been 2 days already.

was in sentosa on saturday with DK for an Ultimate beach tournament and we sent 4 teams - Dong, Nan, Xi and Bei, in conjunction with the mahjong craze that's been going around in the team. it was a pretty good competition and im quite sure all of us had fun. more importantly, i was able to bring my new toy out to take my first few shots of ultimate. i wish a had a more powerful set of zoom lens. damn.

here are some shots that i took, click to see the whole album.

after a tiring saturday, raynor asked us out on sunday for LAN and then karaoke. the thing was that we were only going to start playing LAN from late afternoon. i was still wondering what time we were going to have the karaoke session and when he told me that he wanted to sing the whole way till morning, i almost flipped. it meant that we have to sing all the way till morning and then head back to camp for work on monday. the rest of the guys agreed and we went on with raynor's plan, since it was his birthday on monday (which he thought that we didn't know).

we actually planned a surprise for raynor on monday when we got back to camp so we didn't want to blow our covers by wishing him happy birthday when it was 12am. we were trying so hard to act like we didn't know. and on monday when we went back to camp, before we could get the cake to surprise him, our boss came over to our office and said happy birthday to him infront of us.... so much for trying so hard to not let raynor know that we knew it was his birthday. and yes raynor, that's what we were planning to do. blame it on M'am Tin. haha

and i think i still need more sleep to recover from the lack of sleep on sunday night...... yawn...

New Toy, Random Shots

Took my new camera out when i met the guys for dinner yesterday. so i decided to take like random shots of people. i think i have a thing for voyeurism. beware, all of you.

New Toy

Been busy playing with my new toy, still trying to figure out the best settings. can't wait to bring it out to take some outdoor pictures. anybody wants to be my model for half a day?

Broke and All

contrary to many beliefs of many of my friends, i am broke. the first reaction from my friends were all, "i thought you're a regular?? how can you be broke?". yes, you can be broke if you just living off a study award from the SAF and no, i haven't gotten my pay since i got back to work. haha.

being broke sucks, all my activities are basically limited and i think i have to start making my meal choices soon. can't eat what i feel like soon. pay day is still 18 days away!! time to do some rationing.

even though im broke, it didn't stop me from planning my shopping list for next month after i get my salary. im a shopping slut, bite me. haha

Things to get

• Mac Wireless Keyboard
• Berms
• Myoplex
• Fred Perry Bag

Things to get in the near future (a.k.a. as soon as it comes out)

• iPhone

pretty glad that Singtel got the deal for iPhone since im a Singtel user and i can't wait to get my hands on it come September!

read about it here :
Singtel Will Launch iPhone in September

got bored the other day after work and decided to record something (don't press play if you have a weak heart, i can't assure you that you'll like it):

Mess

as much as i want to think that i'm alright and things in life are back in place, things aren't exactly the way i want it to be.

feel pretty aimless these days and the fact that im back at work doesn't help. it's a bitch having to wake up at 6+ am every morning for the past week when my normal sleeping time is around 3am. still trying very hard to adjust my body clock.

the aimlessness continues even after work, overwhelmed with fatigue, i'll just head straight home and not even consider going out. when i reach home, i'll just have dinner and head straight back to my room and space out infront of the computer. it's pretty crappy now that i look back to my past week.

a lot of things are still in a topsy turvy state as of now, my fitness is in a mess and this really screws me up. my fitness is something that i treasure a lot and i never thought i would see the day that it would be in a mess. seeing it in a mess now just hurts and it hurts physically to get it back to, but im not going to give up no matter how much it's going to hurt. i really need to cut down on a certain unnecessary vice.

hopefully i can get my life back into place, i hate feeling weak and crappy, that's not me. i've got people to catch up with and things to do. no time to sit around being in a mess..