"Life"

i am feeling tired.. it takes effort even to do 10 push-ups.. i can't seem to concentrate during working hours and have to fight myself from dozing off..

all these seem pretty foreign to me, i haven't experienced all these things for a very very long time.. can't even remember when was the last time i actually had this feeling..

thing is that i've been doing the same things all along, but why am i feeling so tired now? that's a question that i asked myself...

was it because i was doing something wrongly? or am i doing something too long for my own good? then i realize that it was satifaction of working on something....

the lost satisfaction caused all the fatigue, it was the satisfaction that kept this mind and body going.. but not anymore i guess..

i really didn't mind dedicating my time to doing things that people would rather not do, like tasks of organization.. prioritising it high in my so called "life" and pretty much spending most of "life" on it...

lately things haven't been going so well i guess and it doesn't help that people are asking me to "get a life", i would just laugh them off.. but lately, just lately, i started thinking about it and it hit me:

"what would i be doing wif my 'life' if i wasn't doing the things that i was right now?"

i ask myself why am i not feeling satisfied to a point that i actually feel so tired and maybe it's because people are starting to take whatever im doing as though im supposed to do it.. it's not that im asking for something in return, at least just appreciate what's going on and respond to it, even if it's very minute..

maybe all this fatigue is a sign.. a sign to break out of my current "life" and see what's outside it.. but well just maybe.. and im sorry it might sound all selfish, but that's life i guess..