Mess

as much as i want to think that i'm alright and things in life are back in place, things aren't exactly the way i want it to be.

feel pretty aimless these days and the fact that im back at work doesn't help. it's a bitch having to wake up at 6+ am every morning for the past week when my normal sleeping time is around 3am. still trying very hard to adjust my body clock.

the aimlessness continues even after work, overwhelmed with fatigue, i'll just head straight home and not even consider going out. when i reach home, i'll just have dinner and head straight back to my room and space out infront of the computer. it's pretty crappy now that i look back to my past week.

a lot of things are still in a topsy turvy state as of now, my fitness is in a mess and this really screws me up. my fitness is something that i treasure a lot and i never thought i would see the day that it would be in a mess. seeing it in a mess now just hurts and it hurts physically to get it back to, but im not going to give up no matter how much it's going to hurt. i really need to cut down on a certain unnecessary vice.

hopefully i can get my life back into place, i hate feeling weak and crappy, that's not me. i've got people to catch up with and things to do. no time to sit around being in a mess..