Faith
it's been a very long time since i've felt so genuinely disappointed about something and today i felt this dreaded feeling once again. it was pretty bad i guess, to the extend that i didn't really feel like going for the team dinner (sorry guys) and stayed in hall to help out with the orientation instead.
i asked myself why i was feeling so disappointed: was it the fact that i expected too much of my teammates that when they under perform, i'll feel that it's not enough? or the fact that i have too much faith in them and when we don't do well, i feel like we're selling ourselves short in the game?
came to a conclusion that it's more of the latter and when i look back, i realize how people react to my so called "faith" in them. some people think of it as a joke and smirk when i become too serious when im explaining things during training. a few think that the "faith" that i put in them is too much to take, in turn told me that they think that not good enough and want to go to the second team instead.
im sure there will people think that im being emo and all because i didn't go for the dinner, frankly, i really don't care because this is how much this team means to me, so much that it's one of the main priorities in my life and it gets frustrating for me sometimes.
maybe im just tired, maybe i should try having people telling me what to do instead then maybe they'll know what im talking about.
i just hope that something like today won't happen again because i really hate feeling like this, makes me feel like an asswipe.
i asked myself why i was feeling so disappointed: was it the fact that i expected too much of my teammates that when they under perform, i'll feel that it's not enough? or the fact that i have too much faith in them and when we don't do well, i feel like we're selling ourselves short in the game?
came to a conclusion that it's more of the latter and when i look back, i realize how people react to my so called "faith" in them. some people think of it as a joke and smirk when i become too serious when im explaining things during training. a few think that the "faith" that i put in them is too much to take, in turn told me that they think that not good enough and want to go to the second team instead.
im sure there will people think that im being emo and all because i didn't go for the dinner, frankly, i really don't care because this is how much this team means to me, so much that it's one of the main priorities in my life and it gets frustrating for me sometimes.
maybe im just tired, maybe i should try having people telling me what to do instead then maybe they'll know what im talking about.
i just hope that something like today won't happen again because i really hate feeling like this, makes me feel like an asswipe.
Labels: food for thought, personal, Ultimate
posted by egomy at 8/02/2008 11:43:00 PM
1 Comments:
It's really not easy being one of the decision makers. It's not easy at all handling a team.
Just know that no matter what happens, there are many people believing in you. And the team understands ur efforts. Hang in there. Keep that faith in you. Don't give up.
Everything will turn out well in the end. Trust me.
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