Manila

was over at manila over the weekend for Manila Spirits '05 and i must say that it's been a fruitful trip for me in terms of experience. It's always good to play teams from all across asia and see what kind of players this part of the world has to offer.

and no, this ultimate competition isn't part of SEA games, just in case it came across your mind. haha.. but hell, i don't see why ballroom dancing can be part of SEA games and ultimate isn't even so much of a recognized sport although it's being played by so many countries around this region.

the moment i got out of the manila airport, a vague picture the bangkok streets was painted infront of me, or well at least of whatever memory i had from when i was 11.. ahah.. it was all congested and smoked out by the fumes from vehicles..

on the way to the hotel on the cab, after the jam outside the airport, i couldn't help but notice that people like to drive real close to each other, if you think you've seen tailgating, think again.. and it's amazing how we didn't see any traffic accidents on the way judging from the way that the drive.

the most amazing thing was that there were traffic lights, but nobody seemed to be following it.. and i found out from selena and peng, locals i knew from the competition that the traffic lights were just a suggestion of what people should be doing and the lights actually caused most of the traffics, haha..

it's a pity that i didn't really have the time to take a look around the manila because of the long game schedules which stretches from day to night for the whole of the weekend, although i still manage to take a look around the red light district of makati which is conviently located behind the hotel that i was staying in.. haha..
it's not exactly very dodgy, not like a certain place i know in singapore, maybe because it's like located near the CBD area so most of the "products" are being placed in the titty bars :)

this is as much recollection as i have of my trip as i can conjure up right now.. read through my post again to check for spelling mistakes, thought the whole post sounded pretty robotic.. guess that's what happens when im tired and i post.. until next time~

Blue Man Group feat Dave Matthews

Saw this video and thought it was very interesting.. take a look, you might like it too

Blue Man Group feat Dave Matthews - Sing Along
(opens a new window)

later~

"Life"

i am feeling tired.. it takes effort even to do 10 push-ups.. i can't seem to concentrate during working hours and have to fight myself from dozing off..

all these seem pretty foreign to me, i haven't experienced all these things for a very very long time.. can't even remember when was the last time i actually had this feeling..

thing is that i've been doing the same things all along, but why am i feeling so tired now? that's a question that i asked myself...

was it because i was doing something wrongly? or am i doing something too long for my own good? then i realize that it was satifaction of working on something....

the lost satisfaction caused all the fatigue, it was the satisfaction that kept this mind and body going.. but not anymore i guess..

i really didn't mind dedicating my time to doing things that people would rather not do, like tasks of organization.. prioritising it high in my so called "life" and pretty much spending most of "life" on it...

lately things haven't been going so well i guess and it doesn't help that people are asking me to "get a life", i would just laugh them off.. but lately, just lately, i started thinking about it and it hit me:

"what would i be doing wif my 'life' if i wasn't doing the things that i was right now?"

i ask myself why am i not feeling satisfied to a point that i actually feel so tired and maybe it's because people are starting to take whatever im doing as though im supposed to do it.. it's not that im asking for something in return, at least just appreciate what's going on and respond to it, even if it's very minute..

maybe all this fatigue is a sign.. a sign to break out of my current "life" and see what's outside it.. but well just maybe.. and im sorry it might sound all selfish, but that's life i guess..

Phases

it just happened that on saturday, i failed to extend my passport and it ended up at the dashboard of my van.. a friend of mine who was in my van actually took my passport when i was driving and had quite a good laugh as she commented that i looked totally different from last time.. which i thought otherwise, haha..

but well, i was looking at my old passport and the photos in it again and it actually brought back some memories from the time of the photos...



this was taken when i was in primary 3.. i totally hated the hairstyle that i had, my teachers didn't like it too much either... i still remembered how they threatened to punish me if i don't change my hairstyle which i realized when i got older that they were just trying to get the silly hairstyle off me.. haha.. but being young and having no power to decide over anything, i couldn't do much.. i still remember the guy who cut my hair was called Andy... hmm...



this was probably the most lifeless time of my life up til now.. this was taken in secondary 2, i was so bloody skinny that even a skinny ass monkey point and laugh at me.. my life was basketball then, i played 7 days a week, i didn't go to town areas during weekends enough to know what was where and i had a terrible sense of fashion, all i had was sportswear.. and i look like a fucking drug addict in this photo..



turning point of my life, as in i finally knew how to really enjoy myself, know and talk to more people from outside my little circle of friends.. taken during my 2nd year of poly, i can say that it was the most enjoyable time i had so far.. there were so many things going on around me, good and bad.. but it was all good although it could have been better if i actually had an experience of a love life... haha..



the most recent photo.. actually i just took it today. not too much of a difference from the last photo actually.. just that im in ns now and perpentually surrounded by men for 5 days a week, 8am to 5.30pm.. love life is still non-existant but still enjoying life..

Out Of My Shell

it's been a while since i've took up some jobs but i decided to give david a hand on a website for his events management company anyway and it actually feels quite good to come out of my shell that i've been in for a while ever since i got into army.. now im all set to start from where i left of already..

anyway, here's the site that i did for david:

http://www.welovepropaganda.com

and my portfolio's up online again:

Egomy Studios

Hiatus

sometimes it's quite funny how life can be so eventful, in an unpleasant way, most of the time. not much time is given in between the events for you to regroup and think about what to do..

just when i thought that i've finally recovered (well almost..), more things start to come up one by one.. which explains the recent hiatus from my writings here and sometimes it makes me wonder why i have to solve things that're not directly related to me which i could have just turned away from..

i guess being able to cast impartial decisions to situations sometimes isn't such a good thing after all, you'll end up standing on the fence sometimes and it can be quite irritating when you are bias towards one side but everyone is looking to you for "the answer", which coincidentally, have to be impartial and makes everyone satisfied which usually don't happen..

but this will be a story for another time until i regroup my thoughts and get my normal life back on track :)