Friday, January 01, 2010

First Post (of the year)

looking back at the year that just passed, 2009 was a busy yet uneventful year (yes, i know it's ironic) for me.

school was really hectic for me, sometimes sleeping only 3-4 hrs a days for like more than a month, which explains the ironic part of my days being uneventful, because i get cooped up in hall everytime i end up rushing for deadlines. this might sound pretty sad and unbelievable but i've been out so little that i can't remember any memorable events that might have happened in the last year. haha.

i guess with that, my other regret for the past year would be the fact that i've either lost contact or distant myself from some friends that i've known for some time since i stay in hall most of the time.

as with previous years, it's always a ritual for me to post my resolution here. so here goes, not in order of importance:

1. spend more time studying while im still in school

2. spend less money

3. get in contact with friends that i haven't been talking to for a while

4. get back to shape

5. get rid of my procrastination problem once and for all

6. cut down on vices

not much resolutions for this new year i guess. simple life is always good. the more things you wish for, the harder life might seem than what it really is. hah.

Labels: food for thought, personal

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Breather

just when i thought that my time has come to take a breather, work just comes right smack at my face. i've always been someone who prefers to work alone on projects and all. Partly because of my personality, i've never been a big fan of working in a team like it's a mass orgy and also partly because i can't really work with people that i don't have a measure of their capabilities.

i'm neither sizing people up before i work with them nor i think that i am a person of exceptional capabilities. i just need to know that people can work on their and solve their own problems. resorting to asking only when they've really hit a wall, at least when it comes to work. some people might find this trait of mine extremely hard-ass, but i always feel that it's a part of self development if you can solve your own problems instead of approaching the person with the solution straight.

talk can be really cheap when working in the team, people talk a lot during discussions, sharing their ideas, occasionally at the expense of someone else having to work extra hard once they manage to push through their ideas. it's funny how people will end up not working on the idea that they try so hard to push through and instead make other people do it for them. i'm not saying that one has to work on their ideas if they suggest it, it's just that if you're very pushy on a certain idea, it's probably an unspoken rule that you should personally see it through.

at this point of time, you might think that i'm a very tough person to work with. contrary to what you think, all i ask for is initiative but at the same time, a laid back mentality. ironic, it may seem, i think this is a pretty good trait to have. imagine having an uptight team member breathing down your neck every other day to check on your progress. not too cool eh?

my point is that if you want to be high strung and try to contribute a lot of ideas, you better be doing some work and show some result quick. it's not very nice to push your ideas through at other people's expense.

this semester has been pretty tough if you ask me, all the late nights working on codes that seem as alien to me as it was to my team members, sometimes i think people just need to try. this coming from me, it's not saying a lot obviously, since i was never the smartest kid on the block. its just that i bother to suck it up and take whatever was coming. its all part of learning.

despite all the work that i've been put through (together with peian), we agreed that the moment we get through this, we'd be the eventual winners. for as much work that we've been subjected to (for the iphone & roomba project), we really gain a lot from all these things. it'd actually be useful even after we're done and the weird thing is that we're actually feeling kind of happy doing all these, less the burn out that we're suffering right now.

on a lighter note, we've managed to cook up an iphone application which has the potential to be put up in the iTunes App Store after we're done with it. more of this when the semester is over and we start redeveloping the application to prepare it for the App Store.

got to suck it up and push through till the end of the semester. light at the end of the tunnel, i can catch a glimpse of it already.

Labels: food for thought, personal, school

Friday, October 02, 2009

Swarmed

i can't believe that i have been so busy since week 1 of school till now. frankly speaking, out of the years that i've been in NUS, this is one packed to the core semester.

i'm leading an extremely hectic life now, i can't believe that i've only actually went out once for one whole day to let myself loose since the semester. maybe that how it actually feels to be studying.

all you muggers out there. i feel you.

more updates when i get myself out of this hole.

Labels: hall, personal, school

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

This Surreal Feeling

what surreal feeling am i talking about, you might ask?

just moved back to hall last week with the rest of the guys up on C4 and it was only after we sat down for our first chat at the familiar common bench in a very long time that i realized that this will be the very last time that we'll be moving in back to hall and have long chats like this.

there's a phrase that can be heard when we come back to hall every year, "last year last chance"; last year in hall and the last time to do everything that you haven't done in hall. i've heard this from the seniors as a freshmen, when i was in my sophomore year and third year and it seems so surreal that now we are the ones that are saying that exact same phrase that we have heard for the past 3 years of our hostel/university lives.

this year's homecoming seem a little different than the other years, gone are the days when we just talk about things like who the chicks are in the orientation, hooking up (we still do actually) but this time round, quite a few of us are still working during the orientation week and i guess that opened the eyes of most of the guys that are graduating. we're actually talking about life after graduation and plans ahead, which sort of gives me a sense of relief (being the old man on the level) to know that everyone on C4 are actually able to move on from the daily mindless ruckus that we are.

it didn't take long before we resumed our drinking/smoking/gambling ways, but this time round, it's going to be different, or rather, we're going to take in the experience fully this time round. you always try to make full use of something enjoyable when you're doing it for the last time.

it always sucks to be doing enjoyable things for the last time doesn't it? who knows what all of us will be doing this time in a year's time?

Labels: food for thought, hall

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Quarter Century and Beyond

was out with my mum the other day and we were talking about my sis' marriage which was coming soon. for some reason unknown, the topic steered to the fact that i'm graduating in 2 semester's time and my van would have to be scraped at the same time. it was then i realized that i've driven my van for a good 5 years already and in another 5 years, i'd be hitting the big three-zero.

the moment i mentioned that i would be 30 in 5 years time, my mum sprung up from her car seat and said:

"yeah, then it's time for you to get married to~"

i immediately stared at her blankly and she gave me a shocked look after registering the awkward silence from me.

frankly, i think 30 is a bit too young to get married. at 30, im just at the end of my SAF bond and i'd be at the crossroad of my career -- deciding whether to stay with the force or look for a greener pasture. maybe i'm thinking a bit too far ahead of my time, but i've even factored in the fact that at 30, i'll be financing a vehicle while i hit the crossroads of my career, so marriage would kind of be out of the question at that age.

and more importantly, im still single right now. i think that's going to be a bigger issue even before she starts talking about me getting married.

as graduation starts creeping in, i find myself planning for a lot of future things that seem so far away just last year. an urgency just rose from nowhere and hits me, issues regarding finances, career, family start popping up and you suddenly realize that in the future you have to make all these decisions that could affect your life in the future.

it's a good thing that these issues that i foresee isn't going to be much of a problem and actually looks pretty good that im looking forward to it.

Labels: food for thought

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Own Time Own Target

"if you don't know, ask your buddy first", "don't run and shout like a gu niang"

if the above phrases bring memories or make you feel right at home, Own Time Own Target will tickle your funny bone whether you're a NSF or NSmen. for those that have had nothing to do with the army before will be still be well entertained by the jokes and antics of the characters from this play.

Own Time Own Target is a double bill consisting of Full Tank by Laremy Lee and Botak Boys by Julian Wong which is based on Singapore's very own National Service. like it's movie predecessor, Army Daze, it cleverly portrays the life of NSFs when they serve their 2 years of national service. the only difference, this double bill might just make a few eyebrows frown. unlike it's predecessor, Own Time Own Target gets down and dirty when it comes to the scripts. profanities (often involving female genitals) are being thrown around throughout the double bill and for someone like me who has already been through it, finds it extremely familiar and close to heart.

all 6 of us were wildly entertained by this double bill and for me, being a sucker for musicals, was totally impressed by the second play. the singing and the acting was great and i could really relate to what was being acted out on stage (yes, even the profanities). one cannot help but notice about the representation of CMIO (chinese, malay, india, others), in both plays and i must say that it is very well represented, accent and antics included.

in all, Own Time Own Target really captures the very essence of what the young men in Singapore feel being in the army through conscription and i would definitely recommend anyone to catch it, even if you don't know anything about national service. just make sure you get the programme booklet to be well-versed with the army lingo to prevent yourself from being lost in some parts of the play.

Labels: personal

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Problem Solving

i've been on course at CMPB for the past 1+ week and i must say that im glad that im not working anywhere near town, or anywhere that requires me to go past 2 ERP gantries every morning to be specific. i always knew that it was expensive, but i only knew how much it hurt when i actually went through the gantries myself every morning.

every morning i have to pay at least $4.50 (if im early, which is not very often) and $6 if im actually late (happens more often than i like). we did a little calculation and it turns out that in a worst case scenario, a person working in town has to pay $120 every month on ERP and guess what, that's just going to work. if you're being a good family person and want to go home straight after work for dinner, guess what, your dinner's going to cost you.

ERP gantries aside, the course that im on is pretty interesting, although the lecture can get a little dry sometimes, it's a set of problem solving tool called TRIZ which i'd be surprised if you've actually heard of it. haha.

anyway, just 2 days into the course, it made me realize that sometimes while trying to solve a problem, we actually concentrate too much on the problem and in the end ignore the fact that the solution is somewhere away from the problem.

a very good example by the instructor was one that involved making an unmanned vehicle to move around on the moon. the problem was that in order to take videos on the moon, they need a good light source, so they fitted bulbs on the vehicle. problem was, everytime they did a landing test, the glass that encases the filament breaks. so they tried all kinds of materials but to no avail.

the thing is, they didn't look at why the case for the filament was needed. the case is just there to prevent oxygen from getting to the filament to prevent oxidization (that's how the filament gets charred). to put things into perspective, the vehicle is going to the moon, with no oxygen, so why do you need a case for it? they ended up using a metal mesh to protect the filament when the vehicle lands and it worked.

i think this whole way of looking at solving a problem applies to life too. there are so many times that we look at the problems that we have in life and go "why is this happening to me? how can i make it go away?" without realizing that if we keep focusing at the problem we're just chasing our own tails and going in circles. whatever problems we face, there are always better solutions when you look away from the problem. this might take a while to digest but think about it. for example, if you think your life is miserable because you're constantly broke, don't just think about how you can get more money, think about how you're spending instead, it'll do you wonders.

think out of the box. don't be an expert of your own problems.

Labels: food for thought

Sunday, July 12, 2009

New Toys

woohoo, i've been having an orgasmic week when it comes to gadgets (read: tech slut), i've gotten quite a few new toys and i just can't keep the excitement in.

first off, in preparation of becoming my sis' wedding photographer, i've been authorized by my parents to get L lens for my camera. after intense research online reading reviews, i narrowed down my shopping list to:

1. Canon 24-105mm f4

2. Canon Speedlite 580EX

shot a bit both of my new toys and i must say that i am very satisfied with the results of my buy.

next up, something that i've been looking forward to for a while and spent around 3 hours queuing up today to get. iPhone 3GS!!

after getting my iPhone 3GS i proceeded to getting gelaskins from far east plaza and my phone looks pretty funky now.

i must say that the new iPhone is definitely more powerful, the web browser renders faster and the camera just owns the previous one just because of the focusing. will update more as i use the phone.

ok, this is too much excitement in one post. till another time.

Labels: gadgets

Mess

it's going to get messy around here. im attempting to change the template of my website on the fly. bare with me for a while

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Long Time

hey people! im back, well kinda, i think most people would have thought that this blog is dead already, haha. i've been bumming around doing random stuff and i actually have a lot of things to talk about, just that im not home enough to type it down.

in the midst of redesigning my template, should be up very soon. stay tuned!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

3 am Acoustic Cover

was looking to take a video of the cover since during exams. now that exams are out of the way. here it is :)

Labels: music

Faith

i've been so stressed for the past weeks, now that it's over. i suddenly find the peace that's finally here, a bit surreal.

it wasn't an easy time for me, having to study a module which i haven't really been to for the whole semester, and to make things worse, yes, it had to be a math module. failing it would mean that my path to a smooth graduation will be obstructed with terrible implications because of my bond.

i frankly haven't been so stressed for like years, i think it got so bad even my neighbors could tell just by looking at me. it's times like this that makes someone feel like giving up and whenever that feeling comes lingering around the corner, i'll keep telling myself that i need to have faith in myself and that i'll pull through this if i just hang on. which i think works for me.

different people put their faith in different things when it comes to sticky situations. most of my friends will know the answer they'll get from me if they ask "who do you believe in?".

my answer, "myself".

it's not that i don't believe in religions, it's just that i have my doubts about the teachings. i spent my secondary school days in Presbyterian High (the yck one, not bishan) and we have to go through an hour of preaching/storytelling during assembly everyday.

at first it was pretty interesting to hear stuff from the bible for the first time when i was sec 1 but as the years go by, i start thinking about what is being said is contradictory and ironic sometimes. maybe i didn't interpret the passage properly, or maybe i misunderstood the passage because i didn't read the ones before.

being raised in a strict taoist family didn't exactly help the cause of me being non-religious. there were too many taboos to look out for, parents follow whatever the mediums say that they should do. monthly rituals stopped us from traveling as much as we would have loved to. i didn't like any of that and it was not long before i stopped following all the strict rules that were in my life but of course i didn't let my parents know up till today. whatever they don't know won't hurt them, or hurt my ear in this case.

we worship deities, gods and look to them for answers when they are in trouble or in need. we cry out to god late at night when everyone's asleep under our blankets and ask "what have i done to deserve this". we visit mediums and consult them when we feel like we're running out of luck or we would like to know the forecast for the coming year.

so what if a voice suddenly appears inside your head and tells you what to do? so what if the forecast that was given by the medium was extremely accurate? ultimately, it all comes down to yourself, your life is in your own hands. if you don't take matters of your life into your own hands, everything will come to naught.

(here comes the part where it becomes slightly blasphemous to some, pardon me.)

what if there is no such thing as god and all the times when we prayed and got an answer was from our own conscience, nothing to do with any heavenly beings or god? you might ask god what you have done to deserve something bad and the answer that came out was just a corruption of your own conscience, which conveniently became an answer from god.

such things can be dectrimental to one's well-being, falling in one's own self-corruption and possibly becoming disillusioned when they realized that the very belief that they put their life's faith in was actually non-existant.

that would kinda suck wouldn't it?

please don't get me wrong, im not against any religion. it's just i have doubts about putting my faith in religions. for the longest time till today, my answer to where my faith lies is still the same.

my faith lies within myself. nothing can go too terribly wrong if you have your life in your own hands.

think about it.

Labels: food for thought, personal

Saturday, April 25, 2009

No Music, No Life

some songs that i've been listening waaaaay too much over this studying period.

music heals my soul.

Labels: music

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Am

it's been a real mad rush for the past months and here i am finally, making a post for the first time in 2 months.

was watching the most recent episode of Heroes named "I am Sylar". it showed how after Sylar got a shape shifting ability, he started losing himself as he keeps changing his identity from one to another. i feel like we tend to lose sight of who we really are, we may or may not take a very long time to find ourselves again and pick ourselves up.

when was the last time you actually thought about who you really are?

i find it hard to get emotionally attached to anything -- people, teams, things, events. i don't get particularly excited when some big event that i was involved in planning finishes or runs smoothly when it's suppose to. i just feel like it was the way it was planned to be and it happened. nothing to be excited about. i can stay away from home for months and don't feel home sick although my family is pretty tight.

when i play any sports, i play to win, i go competitive, it's just me. losing just isn't my thing. scoring a point in a game is meaningless unless you win the game and winning the game is pointless if you don't win the whole competition. people always ask me why im so emotionless even after winning a big match, this is exactly why.

im a walking contradiction. i'm not fussy when it comes to food but i love good food and i complain about food that is bad when im eating it. yes, i'll still eat it even when it's bad. i hate procrastination in a person but i procrastinate. i want everything to be perfect, but i overlook details when im not particularly interested in the thing that im working on.

i trust people and i would like to think that people trust me as well. the only way to lose my trust is to doubt or betray it. when i lose trust in someone, the person usually doesn't get it back. grudges are meaningless to me but if it's a matter of betraying my trust, i get very bitter even when everything is over and i just think about it.

i don't judge people and i don't really care if people judge me or not. i am who i am, i will never hide it and show a different facade just to adapt to someone else. if i have to put on a facade everytime, how long am i going to be able to pull it off? the best is to go with the flow, just be myself and let people accept me for who i really am.

so have you started thinking about who you are?

Labels: food for thought

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Burnout Sem

this semester seems to be like running on overdrive for me. over the past 2 years in school, i've never felt of burnt out despite the fact that i was very involved in hall and in the ultimate scene.

maybe this is how it feels when i actually study and do my work promptly, took me way too long to realized that workload in school is heavy eh? haha. i've even been less involved in ultimate these days to make time for the school work and the rest of my things.

the upcoming photo exhibition at the end of the month is taking up a lot of my time and energy, spent the whole day from like 11am running around places to grab prints and other stuff. had to rush back to school for a meeting for the exhibition and then rush to training in school after that. i was like so tired when i got back to hall, i just sat at the bench at the common area and fell asleep there. talk about getting burnt out. hah

another long day tmr. zzzzz

Labels: hall, school

Friday, January 01, 2010

First Post (of the year)

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Breather

Friday, October 02, 2009

Swarmed

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

This Surreal Feeling

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Quarter Century and Beyond

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Own Time Own Target

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Problem Solving

Sunday, July 12, 2009

New Toys

Mess

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Long Time

Sunday, May 03, 2009

3 am Acoustic Cover

Faith

Saturday, April 25, 2009

No Music, No Life

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Am

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Burnout Sem

Who?

Twitting Makes Me Happy

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